All there is is heads or tails
by forgotten havok
Summary: Len Cobain. Age:17. Comes to New York by chance, He goes everywhere by chance.Even to the X-men's door. But he brings more problems then grace, the X-men still coping with the loss of Jean and the betrayal of John, mihgt not be able to handle it.
1. Default Chapter

Summary: My idea of X3 because i'm a geek who can't do anything but dream up ways for my two faviorite characters to met...

I have no life since I quite drugs...

Disclamier: If only. I'd be so damn rich, dude, if i owned the x-men. I could have a hunky pool boy who wears eyeliner and long dark hair and a great body... ( he sounds like a chick.. well a chick would do too. LOL) I only own Len Cobain and thats all, because I'm not creative enough to come up with my own cast so.. yea. I'll stop talking now. Plz don't sue me.

Sex, Love, 'N' Rockin Roll, Luv.

Sitting on a bus on his way to New York, Len Cobain is 17 going on 71. His headphones blair Social D as he looks in the reflective mirror touching up his eyeliner , exasperated by his own long shaggy dark violet hair that continuasly got in his face, he sang to himself" There are footprints on my celing . I can't help this fucked up feeling" and off into the chorus in his head.

Eventually he got his eyes to look exactly as they should bright and popped out with dark, heavy circles around them. He smiled an almost charming smile, if only if it wasn't the mischevious look of a sinner in those bright green eyes. Too green. In fact everything about him was too 'too'. He was 'too' young to have the simple confidence of experince. Too old to be naive but strangely curious of his surroundings. Too pale to have been out doors much, but his hands showed signs of hard work. Too thin and small to be a danger, yet he had the air of a casual fighter. Too graceful to follow, but too distracted by such trivial things like the right amount of eyeliner to be a leader. He was too alert to be on herione or MJ, but he ws too jaded to be comletely there. He was too 'too' and thats the only way to describe Len Cobain . Too.

He sat back and watched the scenes of the empty autumn roads, he angled his bad leg out a bit. He pulled a pack of ciggs from his pack , took one out and casually lit it. He shook his hair and thought back to New Orleans.

(flashback) ( Len's POV)

Mom woke me up, the first thing I thought about was how much I hated her new hairstyle. She looked like a faire with her small frame and that damn man cut. But mom said she needed a new look for each town. Not me stayed with this old hairdue, I shoulda rinsed it out or something. Bolt might not've found me then if I'd just took Marty's advice and if I'd Listened to Henri.

Poor mom. All that blood.

' Sandy!'

I can hear her scream at me to run.

' Sandy!'

Damn her !

" Oh shit sorry sir. Didn't mean to hit the back of your seat."

' Sandy, babe. Don't forget your name. I'll find you sweetie. I'll find you. '

Like hell you will mom. You shoulda run Bolt was after me. Not you. I'm the damn Mutie freak not you. Mom it was never you who did it! Goddamn you mom! Goddamn You!

All that blood. Why'd I go back! For some stupid sticks. Maybe you were right Mom, I shoulda run. You kept screaming:

'sandy ! Fuck it go!'

But I didn't did I mommy? No I didn't fuck it. I cared to much aobut that stupid sticks. I'm so sorry mommy. I wish I didn't see you with all that blood mommy. I wish I didn't hear it. I wish i wasn't a mutie freak! I'm sorry mommy!

Calm down Sandy. I mean Len. My name is Len now. If mommy was still alive I'd be sandy, better stop calling her Mommy. Lidia. But Lidia's dead and your Lennon Cobain. But the ladies call me Len. And I'm alone.

All that blood.

Shut up Mike. Angels are fake. there aren't gonna carry you home. They damn sure won't-

Hello-

" Hello there" len spoke out loud to the young boy no older then 5 staring at him.

" why are your eyes bleeding"the boy cocked his head to the side.

Len touched his face tentively to find out his eyeliner had smuged and his mascara was running.

" I've never seen black blood."

Len smiled at the boy, a sinner's grin. " Hmm. Your right. But its not polite to stare."

" Oh. Sorry. Sissy said you were crying" he pointed to the older pudgey girl sleeping on her father's lap face black and blue from what Len was sure would be accounted for as an accident if he asked, and the vaginal scratches as well.

" I was" len answered simply. " I shouldn't but I was."

" Oh" the boy sat down in the seat next to him pushing th pack up a little and offered him piece of gum. Len shook his head and his eyebrows shot up at his new friend. He took a drag from the cig.

" so, whats your name boy"

" Ben."

He nodded,. " Fits... Names' Len."

The five year old stuck out his hand" Nice ta meet ya."

Len's eyebrows went higher, he didn't take the hand. " Nice to meet you too."

Ben looked away " you didn't shake my hand. papa says a man's only as good as his hand shake. "

"And, by how well a man can rape and beat a little girl."

Ben's head had almost sunk down to his knees in shame, knowing Len was only being truthful.

' look kid. Sorry. i never grew politness."

" 'S okay."

Len drew out a pice of paper and pen from his pack and wrote down a number. " This is my latest cell phone number. If I change it you will know. Just make sure you call me when your tired of this shit, ok"

Ben nodded, folded the paper up and stuck it in his shoe.

( the X-Mansion)

" You know I'd think you would know better then to get a minor drunk"

" Goddamnit! She was depresed! jesus, Logan. Its no diffrent then when you and Scott go out for drinks" Rogue screamed back with just as much force in her voice.

" Rogue, I expcet more from you"

" Why? Its not like I'm a kid anymore! I'm 18!'

" You shouldn't be drinking anyways"

" you've never discouraged it before1 So she can't hold her liquor"

" She threw up all over my bike"

Rogue's breathing was hard and Logan's eyes were fierce with rage.

" You want a beer" he poointed to the 6 pack on hte counter.

" Yea" she sat down and joined him in a cold one.

Scott former Mr. Tight-ass of the universe walked in with grease under his fingernails and a bit splashed on his visor. " the new bikes are almost down. I'm telling you Claws we could beat the speed of light with them. "

" We'll have to take them out this weekend and have some fun" Logan started daydreaming of the wind in his face the birds abouve him and a hot topless blonde behind him.

Rogue poked him, recognising that look she took advantage of it" hey Wolvie, I need 300."

Logan daydreaming of the Topless Beauty reached into his pocket and drew out his wallet, oblivous to the obscene request.

Rogue thumbed through the contents and knicked his platnium card and the 400 in the lining. She gave Logan a qucik peck on the top of his hair. " Thank you Logan. Bye Scott" She waved as she pulled her key off the eky holder and hummed on down to her Hummer.

Scott broke out laughing much to Logan's dispair and interrupted a rather crude image of the blonde and him driving in the middle of nowhere giving any driver on the road who happened to pass them by a free showing.

The kitchen suddenly erupted with 17 young children running around in circles wanting icecream further distressing Logan and his Dream Date.

" what the hell" he puzzled at his empty wallet as two of the kids climbed on to Logan's back and one tried to reach his beer for a small sampling.

Logan sraped him up and gave him an angry look causing the young boy to break out in tears.Unbeknownset to Logan Stephanie was actually chugging a beer. This brought on fresh peals of laughter from Scott and a mighty gasp from Storm as she and Kurt entered the kitchen.

" Stephanie! I told you to never drink again" Storm cried in desperation. " wheres Kitty? It was her job to take care of them"

Out by the pool Kitty the valley girl and good friend sunbathed with Piotr looking down from his bedroom window along with Bobby, Bam Bam, Jason, Drake and Sam.


	2. join me

Summary: Again. I have no life... Well I do, but the people in it suck... So, yea. Now all of you will suffer my incredibly dark humored, angsty, angsty, but funny story! Mwhahahahahaha..

Disclamier:Well, I could lie and say you all owe me alot of money for the usage of my characters. But that would be a lie and my shrink told me that wasn't nice... Screw it! Give me all your cash! lawyers come out of nowhere cowers just kidding! I swear! they leave close one...

Join Me in Death

Rogue stopped in suprise at a familar ryhme in a song. In the middle of New York city listening to the sounds of traffic as she walked along with Logan's belongings in her purse. The streets pulsated with life and she kept her arms close to her, even with her arms mostly covered she felt naked in the middle of a crowd. She felt a pang of regret for not asking someone to come along with her to ease her discomfort, but like most feelings of regrets it was useless. She shifted the purse a bit and decided to make the most of it. SHe didn't want to have the need for company in a crowd when all she wanted to do was buy a sweet pair of leather pants at INTI.

These were the thoughts swimming through Rogue's jumbled mind as she heard the ryhme:

When I was A beggar boy

And lived in a cellar damp

i had not a friend or toy

The voice was pure and confident, but she couldn't see where it was coming from, others obviously heard it as well, she could tell as they all casted accusing looks at each other. Confused and dazed by the voice with a shake and a dominance all at once.

But it was all changed by mere chance!

Once I could not sleep in the cold,

and patches they covered my pants,

No I have bags full of gold.

She saw him then, the figure at the edge of the curb, a black hat covering his face and black hair with glints of viloet. A grey pack by his side , a cigg rolled between his two fingers,a black trench coat draped casually on top of hte pack. Rogue didn't know why , but she could feel him smiling. She couldn't see his face but she could feel his smile. A sad smile. Something happy but sad was in his thoughts.

for that was changed by mere chance

Mere chance, mere chance

Mere chance makes us gay

Mere chance makes night day

But whoever she'll choose,

She can also make lose,

Mere chance has her way,

Mere chance.

He finished solemnly and the confusion of the street passed by without a thought. Rogue swept a lose strand of white hair back and edged carefully toward him. He took a drag and stood up, sensing her presence.

" what do you want" he asked without turning around to face her.

Len could see clearly through his dark veil that it was a beautiful young woman. Someone he might have been intreasted in " knowing" but at the momment she wasn't very intreasting to him. he only wanted to find a spot to stay for awhile.

" M.E. Kerr? The Books of Fell? your fate hs already been set;" she qouted and he finished.

" You just lean into it."

Rogue gave a quite laugh. He turned adn gave her a dazzling smile, white, crisp and ready.Still Rogue could sense the hint of sadness there.

" right" she smilled back.

" Wrong" his smile was gone just as quick. " I read the book yeah. But its my mother's."

Rogue's face fell instantly becoming unsure of herself even moren then she had been" Oh."

An akward momment of silence passed before Rogue turned to leave only to be stopped by a rough but gentle squezee on her arm.

" I'm Len. Sorry for my rudeness."

"Your right" Rogue spoke sharply now in embaressment and anger, jerking her arm she walked away.

Len watched her leave, a wicked grin on his face. a sharp, barking, unattractive laugh passed his lips and he received plenty of notice. He only grinned wider with each passing glare and despreate mother pulling their children away.

A song passed his lips again, darker more him song :

This world is a cruel place  
and we're here only to lose  
so before life tears us apart let  
death bless me with you  
( A/n Lyrics by him)

Won't you die tonight for love  
Baby join me in death  
Won't you die  
Baby join me in death  
Won't you die tonight for love  
Baby join me in death

And he walked away from that cornor to find a bridge to store himself away for awhile. It felt like rain. Real soon, in the air like a haunting fog.

( New Orleans, Mort éternelle Cemetary) ( A/n Eternal Death)

" Mon Dieu, this is the worst funeral Remy 've eva been to."

" Remy ,Un funèbre est ne pas supposer pour être l'amusement" ( a funeral isn't suppose to be fun.) The dark haired man scolded his younger brother, poking him in the rib.

He poked back, only to have the favor returned once again. This started a small but passionate battle of pokes between tow grown men at a funeral in the rain. Another much older man coughed behind them, causing both to jump slightly. They exchanged annoyed looks and then turned to the man in respect.

" son fils, where is he"

Both of them shook their heads.

The older answered" Don' help dat he only goes where he goes, Lidia taught him that.'

" Qui, your right Henri... Remy, I want you to find him" the man turned motioning them to follow as the other guests began to leave .

A herd of black cows grazing on the soil of death thinking to themselves, not " thats so sad" but a " glad it wasn't me" s .

" Que" Remy cried, causing several cows to turn aroung and glare at him for distrubing the peace. " me permettre d'avoir de la peine!( let me grieve)" quitley he said to his two companions. " assholes every single one of 'em."

They rolled their eyes at him in annoyance.

" You b' like 'em Remy. Only belivin' by simple hasard ( mere chance). Dis' s' a job fo' a Gambit. An' a mutant."

Henri gave a good natured " freak." Remy gave him an " equally" good natured gesture causing Henri to crack up in hysterics.The older man gave them both looks seething with anger.

Remy put his hands up" Fine, Remy do it."

Henri shook his head" Not Remy. Yo' heard Père, it be fo' Gambit.."

He shook his head and began to follow the cows" Whateva'."


	3. slide

Summary; Hola and welcome to the hell and chaos that is my so called story. In this Chapter their'll be a description of Bolt, who is refrenced in Chap. 1. Len " finds" Ben, again. And Scott's drunk... I mean really drunk...

Louc S. Swarm : Ok I'll telll you where I'm going with this... lean forward, whispers I have no idea. Shh. Don't ell anyone.

celia : Ok, now close your eyes. Imagine Davey in a catholic school girl's outfit and tell me what you think. Makes one hot chica, Non?

Slide

( a/n each chapter is named after a song. This one is by the Dresden dolls.)

( That fateful day when Ben met Len)

" How" Ben dream spoke to Len.

Dream Len smiled, black blood spilling from his lips with each word" We'll have to connect, it might hurt alittle. But thats how."

Dream Ben knew this wasn't a dream. A memory of a true event with a few added minute details, details that pre-black blood ben would have never thought of.

Dream Ben looked around him and saw his father in a orange suit, elaborate in detail, something he did not own. His sister Kristi wearing a red dress clutching at their father's arms who waved pennies up high above her head, smiling and laughing manically.

Dream Ben looked back at Dream len, away from Dream Papa and Dream Kristi. " You'll know where I am? always"

" Always" Dream Len answered holding a bird. A beautiful bird, made of blue fire. " Its electric."

Dream Ben reached out in amazement ot hte Blue Fire Bird. Dream Len pulled it back quickly and closed his fist around it" Are you sure? I might just show up for no reason at all. You don' t want me around whenever do you"

Dream Ben nodded.

" ok" Dream Len opened his fist again and the Bird appeared again.

this time Dream Ben touched it and it went into him. Through his fingers , up his arms, completely circulating through his body. He felt pain, but it didn't hurt it felt almost like pleasure. It boruhgt back bitter sweet memories of his mother that he'd never had before. Of Real Papa before he became real mean and Real Kristi when she use to smile and not know when people were crying or sad. It brought him back to his old self, his old ways of eating mud, but their were things he didn't quite understand.

Memories that weren't his. Blood splattered on sticks, power, hunger, greed and addiction that he never knew in his short six years of age. And something even greater called " getting fucked" ? He knew the word vbut it had never been used in a good way before, skin on skin, hollow tips and lover's lips? What were these.

He didn't know, but Dream Bena dn Real ben saw odd images everywhere now, Real Ben and Dream Ben thought diffrently, saw dangers that Old Ben would have never thought of before, but now Ben wasn't just Ben abd he knew it.

He kept seeing flashes of len in the short few hours they'd spoken. His face appeared out of nowhere, in the mirror of the bathroom at school, at the library when he asked for Flowers in the Attic. When he stood in front of Kristi that night after hte meeting with Len.

The Face spilling black blood kept appearing.

Not that Ben minded the company-

( Wilson Public Elementry School, Mrs. Monk's first grade class)

" Alright, children! Recess"

Ben woke with a start and took a momment to sort out Real Ben form Dream Ben and Occasionally There Len, before taking his " girlfriend" Mary Sue's hand and head out with the rest of the students.

( Mink Bar at 1 pm.)

Scott Summer's is drunk. No not drunk, shit-faced wasted. 7 drafts in front of him, this was the problem that had made Xavier

decide to have Strom in charge of the X- team now instead of the once loyal and all around good guy leader that everyone looked to.

" Ya kno' 'Ogan" he slurred to Logan who had recieved a call from The Mink's owner to come and pick up his drunkened friend.

" i neva deserved hurr. ya kno' I love' hurr, bu' she ne- needed someon' strong. And look a' me' 'Ogan" he layed his head down on the counter , he played with his lip and drooled. " Nothin' bu a drunk."

Logan patted his back" I know buddy, come on. Lets get you outta here"

Blach. A stream of pea green and orange vomit spewed all over Logan's shoes. Scott pulled his head back, like a hurt puppy afraid of a rolled up newspaper. But Logan had softened in the past year since Jeanie's death. Someone had to take care of the near suicidal Scott who had nothing to live for. Logan had Rogue, his sweet troublemaker , much like him. almost too much.

Logan only smiled at Scott" Don't worry, pal. Lets get you home" Logan gave a small wave goodbye to the bartender.

" "Ogan I Love you, man" Scott cried at the top of his lungs as Logan half carried him out to the car.

" I know, One-eye. I know."

( New Orleans airport)

" If Remy wanted to get out of dis town, Where woul' remy go" Remy looked up at the bored showing flights out of the state. He scrratched his head and shook his brown-red hair. "Ennie- meenie-minee-mo. N'York here we go."

( Somewhere secreat)

" he killed my son" the quite voice spoke in hte dark. So quite it was almost drowned out byt the steady drops of water falling through the leaky roof.

a man of bulk sat on a crate, his back against the wall, his eyes permenatly watered down from years of suffering. His left hand trembled in anticipation. His right hand shot out and grabbed the arm of a lean man, he looked up at him.

" where is he" he asked. " where is the boy? the freak who killed my son"

" I-I-I" in the darkness of shadow his face could not be seen but the sound of fear in his voice shone trough the place as bitter sun. " I-I-I'm s-ssorry, Mr. Bolt... After the incident wi- with his m-mother. we- we- we- los-lost him."

" oh" bolt released him and looked to the other facees in the dark, dimmly illuminated by a small gas lamp. " You don't know where he is." the superior man stood from the crate and sighed.

CRACK, the sound of the firghtened man hitting the stone wall rang throughthe room, truer then any bell, breaking several ribs ( or at least brusing them). He reached down and lifted him up in a quick almost liquid grace movement. with his left hand he stroked his cheek.

" Who am I"

" b-Bolt, the great and all mighty savior's image" he gasped through crushed lungs.

"What is my purpose" Bolt's quite voice mocked him a bit.

" to build, to create a New World and to destroy the de-demons that plague this one."

" Good. Now... Find me that freak."

Nothing lasts forever not even the End.

( a/n notice the comparison between the song and the chapter? Just goes to prove. I have no creativity.Lol)

a late april day and it's sunny outside  
and a red little girl's at the top of a slide  
and an an orange old man at the bottom  
wants to take her for a ride  
as she slips and she tumbles the orange man mumbles  
pennies crash down from the sky  
and he tells her he'll take her away where it's safe  
and of course it is a lie  
she's a third the down and her skirts are yanked up  
and her little girl cheeks start to wrinkle  
but her smile is wide and her legs are spread wider  
her hair growing long and her hips getting larger  
past getting brighter  
light growing weaker...  
she is halfway down now but the man is impatient  
shakes change in his pocket he might have to wait but she's coming...  
she's coming...

who are you blaming?  
they're just playing!  
that's a good one...  
who left the playground  
a good decade before the bell rang?

as she starts to draw nearer the view becomes clearer  
the splinters are painful but she doesn't feel it  
the pennies were loaded and as they exploded  
she starts to spin out of control...  
her eyes are now closing her sleeves are unrolling  
up past her head and her veins are all showing  
not that she noticed she's thoroughly focused on  
one old man who's laughing...  
who's laughing...  
dont' worry  
i've got you  
don't worry  
i've got you

the orangeman got you...


	4. i already know

Summary: The Romy will begin! It took sometime and I'm pretty sure noones intreasted anymore, but oh well! I don't care if I don't get this off of my head I will never be able to destroy the world in peace... I mean. I would never destroy the world... looks around to see who heard her... Yeah I'm gonna go away now.

Disclamier. Me no owner. You no sue? Capisce?

Chapter four: i already know

Pain surged through her body. Twisting her body in such a way, arching her back and her legs stretched almost to an immpossible positon.

" Hey Kid, don' hurt yourself."

" Worry, ' bout yourself old man. Ya shouldn' be doin' this suga. You migh' get hurt."

Their bodies responded to each other rythmically, their grunts pulsating in through the room. Moving with such passion from one side to the other.

Rogue pushed a shirtless Logan against the wall, he tripped and fell recovering by pulling Rogue down as well,he rolled on top of her. Rogue responded by kneeing him in the stomach he rolled off quickly in pain, she shot up and stood over him in a fighting stance. Sweat dripping from her forehead, she pushed back a strand of white hair.

" Thats it!" Logan jumped up and extended his claws, " This is for my wallet!"

He rasied his claws in a savage manner and with a small twisted smile on his brutal lips. At almost lightening speed he attacked, but missesd as Rogue had a mini- logan in her head telling her to dodge.

He growled in anger as his claw rammed into the silver gray wall, in response Rogue stuck her tongue out in the most respectful way anyone could to their mentor-slash-father-figure.

( A/n bet you thought they were doing something naughty before... Dirty dirty.)

At this point Storm chose to enter and announce that Scott had woken from his stupor and that Rogue had a research paper due in a week. Rogue made a point of telling Logan, once Storm was out of hearing reach that she had planned to buy it off the internet off of one of her many on-line friends. Logan gave a slight chuckle and threw a bottle of water at her. She caught it in one hand.

" I've trained you well.," Logan said smugly.

Rogue rolled her eyes and snapped a towel at him, he dodged it with ease. This only brought a wider girn to his face.

" Later Ol' Man.," she waved him off and left the room.

Logan sighed watching her leave, a sad look came over his face suddenly. Slightly shaken, Logan went to find the hungover Scott.

( Remy in a NY Airport )

Remy flicked the red-brown hair out of his face. He faintly recalled the last time he was in New York he had stopped in at the Xavier mansion to see Stormy, he never did met her face to face. He only watched her. Missing his partner, wanting to speak to her, but the imprint of the memmory of their last moments together lingered far too long like bad perfume.

Remy stepped off the plane waving good-bye to the young woman who had recently joined the infamous branch of Remy's mile-high club. She blushed in an almost virginal way, Remy found this quite amusing and tried to soten a very unmannly giggle.

Perhaps today, he would make amends for ruinning his "sister"'s happiness. Or maybe he'd just spy some more and see the petite fille with the dark hair, he saw a little over two years ago. But that wasn't hte important thing really, now was it.

No. Get Sandy. Thats whats important before Bolt finds the little deviant.

( At Wilson Public elementry School)

Ben went out for another day of recess this time with no one.Before the events on the bus after his grandmother's death, he would have probably had another girlfriend by now. The edge of Len's mind however told him that there was no point. Not at this time. So following a careful path of already made mistakes, Ben tread carefully.'

Now out in the sun the edge of autumn was springing on them fast, he felt a surge run a course through his veins. Excitment broke out in his eyes.Spraks of blueish green energy sprinted through his brown eyes. If anyone had looked in to his eyes they would have seen the moment of almost take over. The link of Len left in his brain and bleeding black and orange men and rain and a pair or sticks and a faire man-woman. The flash ended eruptly however.

For the actual owner of said look and mischieve was sitting under the Tree of Story. The too "too" man was sitting there. Flipping open and close a silver lighterin the shape of a penguin.

The students of Wilson kept their distance, seeing him as a big kid. A big bad kid. However Ben walked toward him, a bounce in his step. He reached the Tree of Story and crouched next to him.

" miss me?"

" No"

Len smiled down at him. " smart ass." He ruffled his hair. " How are things?"

Ben shrugged," diffrent. I guess." he reached over and took the lighter away from him. " amazing. Its so cold on the outside but it holds so much heat."

Len smiled again. " You sound old... Diffrent how?"

" I don't wonder anymore."

" Sorry to hear that."

" Why?"

Len took out a cig and held it up for Ben to light."Please."

" Why's it bad?"

Len didn't answer. He didn't need to. Ben knew it already. How was to grow into himself, if in his mind he had a n adult and more reading his subconciense mind. Prediciting and knowing the next step of every move to be made in his life. what was the point really, then, of continuing the cherade of life if it was already there laid out in front him. Even so, Ben couldn't help therozing that it was good in some ways. To be able to repeat the same life but with more stratigic and sense then Len had had at his age.

Len puffed away. Guilt edged into his face.

" I have no regrets," Ben spoke at last.

" Good. It'll stay there forever now.You know that?"

" Little Blue? I don't mind the compnay."

" good."

" Your a mutant." A fact not a question.

" Yes."

" When will it show up in me?"

" I don't know."

He shrugged, " It'll be ok."

" how do you know, kid?"

" Cause. I already know what to do."

till next time.


End file.
